Observing body language changes

All week, the 2 Minute Tip is covering body language, with the help of FBI interrogator Joe Navarro, author of What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People. So far we have covered listening to yourself / looking for congruence, and establishing a baseline. Today, we’ll discuss what to look for when observing someone’s body language change.

We look for signals that express comfort or discomfort.

Signals of comfort

Generally, upward, gravity-defying behaviors indicate positivity, energy, or excitement. Lifting shoulders eyebrows, hands, rocking up on the balls of your feet, walking with a bounce in your step. It takes energy to raise body parts up, and it’s often an indicator of comfort, or receiving energy. 

Upward motions like raising eyebrows can indicate comfort or interest.

Navarro tells the story of watching a man talk on his cell phone. As he listened, the guy raised the toe of his left foot. The heel remained on the ground, but the rest of his shoe moved up. He interpreted it to indicate that the man on the phone had just heard something he considered positive.

There are varying degrees to this. If someone says “I don’t know” and raises their shoulders very high, they’re probably signaling comfort or truthfulness in admitting they don’t know.

Contrast this to their saying the same thing, “I don’t know,” but only partially lifting one shoulder. By exhibiting a less-than-full upward rise, they may be indicating less commitment to the statement, or worse, evasion or deception.

Signals of discomfort

Downward, hiding, or blocking movements are generally signals of discomfort.

One example is the “turtle move,” where a person tucks their head into their shoulders as if to hide. These, and similar, movements may be an attempt to appear smaller, so as not to draw attention to themselves.

Blocking the eyes, putting a hand on the forehead, shuts out things we don’t want to see.

Some people will unconsciously place an object between themselves and others, such as putting a purse on a lap, or opening a laptop screen, as a way of “protecting” themselves from something that’s making them uncomfortable.

After millennia of evolution, the limbic brain is always at work, protecting us from discomfort. We just have to pay attention to the signals others are sending, even if they’re not aware themselves.

Tomorrow, the 2 Minute Tip will discuss how the automatic “freeze, flight, or fight” response can tell us what people may be thinking.