Let silence open them up

This week we have discussed Susan Scott’s five suggestions for clear communication during one-on-one work meetings, which also work for personal conversations. Today, we’ll discuss making space for the other person to say what’s on their mind.

Suggestion #4: Let silence do the heavy lifting

Nature abhors a vacuum. Most of us are so uncomfortable with silence that we respond reflexively. Most of us listen to respond, rather than to understand.

When you ask your opening question in your next one-on-one (What’s the most important thing we should be talking about right now?), just pause.

Allow for some time and space for your partner to really think about it long enough before answering.

Do this throughout the conversation. Leave room for them to be thoughtful and engage.

Take your time.

Create space.

Listen to understand, not to respond.

In a one-on-one, it’s your job to slow the conversation down so you can discover what really needs to be discussed.

Adapted from Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott.