Know your triggers
Most workplaces are breeding grounds for conflict.
The difference between a workplace that leaves you reactive and one that stimulates relationships and productivity – for you – starts with knowing your triggers.
A trigger could be a word, a behavior, or anything that stirs up negative emotions.
Without awareness, triggers lead you to habitual reactions, and as we learned yesterday, we are our conscious responses, not our unconscious reactions.
With awareness, there almost isn’t anything another person can say or do that you can’t respond to with either empathy, for the other person or yourself.
(In fact, when Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication hears something he doesn’t like, he only sees the other person’s unmet needs.)
Here’s a process you can use to recognize your triggers.
Notice the times when you feel disconnected (negative emotions) to a co-worker or yourself.
Try to determine if there’s an internal sense of wanting the other person to feel guilt or shame. Ask: am I defending a position, explaining, moralizing, judging, or diagnosing?
Can’t do this in the moment?
Try this instead. Take a minute right now to think about your conversations this week. When did your thinking block your ability to stay compassionate (with the other person or yourself)?
That’s your trigger.
