It’s not mean, it’s clear

This week, the 2 Minute Tip shared communications tips for bosses, from Kim Scott’s Radical Candor. Here’s a story that brings her teaching to life.

She adopted a Golden Retriever puppy, named Belvedere. She adored and spoiled the puppy, and as a result, the dog was completely out of control.

One evening out for a walk, Belvedere began to tug at her leash as they waited at a busy crosswalk. Cars were speeding by just a few feet from them, and the dog was trying to drag Scott into the crosswalk.

She was pleading with her puppy, “Come on sweetie, sit! The light will be green in a second!” but despite her imploring, the dog yanked even harder on the leash and tried to launch across the street.

A stranger standing next to her, watching this scene, turned to her and said “I can see you really love your dog.”

Scott says that in 2 seconds, he had established that he cared and that he was not judging her. This allowed her to listen.

Then, the stranger challenged her directly, saying “But that dog will die if you don't teach her to sit.”

Then, he bent down to the dog, pointed his finger at the sidewalk, and said with a loud firm voice, “Sit!”

The dog sat and Kim Scott gaped in amazement.

He smiled and explained, “It's not mean, it's clear.”

The light changed, and the stranger walked off leaving Kim with words to live by.