How to decline useless meetings

You’re told to be more efficient, to prioritize, to work harder, not smarter, yet mysterious meeting requests suddenly appear out of nowhere. Your boss sends you time management strategies, then asks to “put some time” on your calendar.

(What a phrase: It sounds like they’re giving you time, when they're actually taking it!)

When someone invites you to a meeting, they’re asking you to give them the only resource you have, and most people have not thought about either the true cost of that meeting or your need for time and efficiency.

And while readers of this column know that saying no to something is saying yes to something else, you don’t want the other person to think poorly of you or to miss out on face time with others.

Here’s some language you can use to get out of a meeting in a way that is more likely to be respected and appreciated. As you read them, think about what they’re saying “between the lines.”

1) Ask to contribute by email instead, so you can do it when it’s convenient for you.

This language works for meetings where people gather to just review a report, or where there’s no clear agenda and someone hasn’t put the time into clarifying the issue ahead of time.

“I have several other competing priorities right now. Can you send me the information/data/issue, so I can read it when I have more time and give it my full attention / a more thoughtful response?”

2) Ask for the meeting minutes instead.

This one is good for meetings where they want to “just keep you in the loop.” Why spend an hour listening to other people talk when you can read a summary?

“I need to focus on another important deliverable, can you send me the minutes? If I have any questions, I’ll let you know.”

(Meeting minutes take no extra time when written during the meeting, simply bulleting key decisions, action items, and important notes.)

3) Be honest that you don’t have anything to contribute.

This one is good for large meetings, especially when you don’t necessarily have anything to contribute.

“I have a project due soon that I need to focus on. Can you let me know if my attendance is crucial? I’d like to know how I can add value.”

Notice how all of these sentences consider not just your needs, but the other person’s as well.

You’re not saying no to helping or fulfilling their needs, you’re just looking for other strategies to meet those needs that simultaneously help you meet your own.