Connect to disconnect

Around the time he and the Committee of Five wrote the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson explained his position by saying:

“Believe me, dear Sir: there is not in the British empire a man who more cordially loves a union with Great Britain than I do. But, by the God that made me, I will cease to exist before I yield to a connection on such terms as the British Parliament propose; and in this, I think I speak the sentiments of America.” 

This is a fantastic way to connect with someone before going your own way. It’s a technique called contrasting, and you can use it anytime you have to make a break with someone.

First, you describe something you share – you connect – then you explain what’s different, your reason for leaving the group, taking a new job, or saying no.

We are, after all, simultaneously connected and independent. 

Happy Independence Day.